You know you're out when...

So, you've just gotten out and you're not sure if it's real? Here's a few things to help remind you that you're actually OUT:

• You call your boss Mike, his boss Susan, and her boss Bob.
• You can walk to the right side of Mike, Larry, and Bob without violating some medieval concept of courtesy.
• Kiwi regains the meaning "a flightless bird native to New Zealand".
• You're now making full use of both arms for carrying items, and (once you realized that you don't wear one anymore) save loads of time not looking for your hat.
• One look at your new paycheck and you now know why they called it the L.E.S.
• Forget to shave? Just tell 'em you're starting your beard that day! Haircut? Ha!
• You have finally worked "Yes Sir," "Yes Ma'am," "Chief," and "F%@K this" out of your daily vocabulary (well, maybe not the last one).
• Business lunches, golfing, and season tickets are considered an essential part of work.
• The ability to ride a bike for eight minutes and keep your body fat below 24% is not confused with intelligence, leadership potential, or degree of motivation.
• You have determined that white T-shirts are not required undergarments in the real world.
• You can fly to New Zealand to see those small flightless birds without having to get permission and a bunch of signatures on a leave form
• You can't remember the last time the shoes you wear to work were shined.
• The office is empty at 5:00 PM.
• There are no guards at the entrance to your office.
• All the years of learning how to crease your sleeves and pants were wasted
• People look at you real funny if your black work shoes are so shiny that you can see yourself in them.
• The smell of diesel fuel is now a bad thing and a call to 911 is actually rewarded.
• You receive no harassment from people with nothing better to do than worry if your coat is zipped.
• You can sleep soundly knowing that you actually have to do something illegal by US law to get punished.
• No one truly outranks you anymore; you are not considered to be a second class citizen in your office building!
• What the hell is a square knot again?
• You won't have to take vacation time on days you're not scheduled to work.
• 7:30 is when your alarm is set, not when you need to be at work.
• You find out that ASAP implies some future deadline, not an overdue one.
• You realize that the military did not invent ineptitude, they only took a concept and perfected it.
• You can tell your boss "I QUIT!!"
• If you show up late for work (first offense) because you went out boozing, you don't get thrown into an alcohol rehab center. Second offense? The boss gets pissed because he/she wasn't invited.
  
• You don't get fired for oversleeping 1 hour, 1 time, because you forgot to set the alarm clock.
• You have to whip out a calculator to figure out miltary time
• You can go home from work...even if your desk is dirty.
• People get paid to clean the office for you
• A midnight snack isn't a hot dog or stale crackers (unless, of course, you want it to be)
• You can call in sick from from work and you aren't required to visit the hospital to prove it
• "Field Day" is something you do at a park, with games and fun activities
• You don't repaint the entire house, replace your appliances, and refinish your hardwood floors just because your in-laws are visiting.