The first version of my FTN website was back in 1996. That's a LONG time! This blog is meant to revive the joy that was once the great and wonderful FTN Website. I'll be making a weekly post from my archives and, of course, include new material as it comes in.

Have something to add? Send me a note: jtrelfa at gmail dot com

Monday, August 25, 2008

Big Daddy

"They have better ho's overseas"

--Big Daddy
when asked why he was skipping shore duty to go on a world cruise on the Nimitz

Monday, August 18, 2008


NUB:(nub). Non Useful Body:
A humanoid lifeform that consumes air, food, and a pit in berthing. Considered by most to be a waste of human flesh. Nubs are able to show their worth when they start supporting the watchbill; although feed pump watch qualification is barely sufficient to get out of nub status.

Skills: Painting, taking out the trash, small valve maintenance, anything mundane
Known enemies: All qualified watchstanders
Leading cause of injury: doing anything other than getting qualified

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Check please?

You go to a restaurant. The food is terrible, the service is worse, and the place is filthy. You vow to never go there again.

For some reason, some of the people at the restaurant think the opposite. They ignore the dirty spoons, the cockroaches, and the horrible food. They actually seem to *enjoy* it. In fact, they keep coming back over and over and over again to this crappy, terrible restaurant. They even go so far as to claim, "There aren't any other good restaurants out there - this is the best one."

For most of us, our time 'in' was like this restaurant. For the lifers, it's the best damned eating establishment they can ever imagine.

The best thing to say?

"Check, please!"