Monday, July 14, 2008

You might be a "shipmate"

"Shipmate"...I hate that word and the whole concept of it. "Shipmate" is only used when you're in trouble or someone is trying to be rude. I think the original concept of it was for us to "bond together" as a crew, not be assholes. So I've compiled a list of things that could mean you are a "shipmate":

You might be a "Shipmate" if...

  • you scream out to the guy in front of you "Hey, Shipmate" even though his name is written across his ass
  • you scream "Hey, Shipmate!" to the guy in front of you when his name ISN'T written across his ass and proceed to shit all over him for it
  • you think you're "helping" by reporting all divisional problems to the "boss" (chief or above) to receive input on how to fix the problems
  • a backpack on someone's shoulder means something to you
  • you actually READ the "All Hands" magazine rather than just grab a few for when you're out of toilet paper
  • you wear camouflage and you're in the navy
  • you think a counseling chit is a useful tool vice a punishment
  • you get offended if someone has a PAPERCLIP attached to their uniform
  • you are only friends with people that have the same sized nest under their crow...or bigger
  • whenever asked to perform some mundane task, your first impulse is to find someone with fewer stripes
  • it is more important to you to have a clean, pressed working uniform than actually soil it doing work
  • other people do your work for you
  • you are always the first person in line for food
  • you want to be president of the First Class Association
  • you have military creases on your dungarees
  • you wear the title of "Lifer" proudly

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